I love my parents, that is why their names will be changed to protect the innocent

So, I really and truly do love my parents, but I gotta tell everyone about last weekend.
Mark was away for a trip overnight, and he didn't want to leave me alone.
So, I asked Mud and Fud to come down. Mud makes good food, remember.

it only took about the usual 5 min for the Mud and Fud routine to begin.
Fud: (load groan of pain, heard from a distance)
Mud: Fud, ARE YOU OKAY??
Fud: (silence)
Mud: Fudhead, ARE YOU OKAY?
Fud: YEAH, I'm alright
Mud : What was that noise?
Fud: ((sigh)
Mud: Fudhead, WHAT was that noise?
Fud: just my legs hurting
Mud ok, sit down
Fud (silence)
Mud: Are you sitting?
Fud: No, not yet
Mud: FUDHEAD, Go sit down, and you'll feel better
Fud (silence)
Mud ARE YOU sitting down yert?
Fud (silence)
Mud: Go sit down, and take some deep cleansing yoga breaths

Then she turns to me, and starts to explain how he is always doing this, and if he would only go sit down and breath deep cleansing breaths, or go do legs up a wall, he would feel infinitely better.
I won't copy and repeat the above conversation, but it happenned at least 5000 times in a 24 hour period.  Instead, I'll tell you about Fud and computers.

I was downstairs, in the kitchen, and Fud said "I don't thjink I am online"
I said, Are you on facebook?
Fud (pause) yeah
Me: then you HAVE to be online
Fud: (silence)
Fud: oh, ok, but I never put in a password
Me: That's because Mark did it for you last time, and your computer remembers things like that
Fud: I still dont think I am online
Me: ARE you ON Facebook?
Fud: (pause)  uh, yeahMe: Then you HAVE to be online, whether it is our network, or some neighbor who has an unprotected network.

Fud But I didn't put in a password
Me sigh, then maybe you r on a neuighbors network, but prolly, your computer remebers our password, bring your computern down here, and I can tell you which
Fud (silence)
me: Fud aree you bringing the computer dwon here
Fud (pause) No, it's ok
me: Ok
Fud: But I dont think I am online.
me:(sigh ) you are, if you werent, you couldn't be on facebook, really,
Fud: ok

you get the idea, but these conversations seemed to take place quite often, esp the one about the deep cleansing yoga breaths, and how he would feel better, if only...

Then, Fud wanted to know why he didn't have a calculator on his computer.
Me: You do, everyone has one. Bring your laptop here, I'll show you
Fud:: (silence)
Me: Do you see it? Bring your laptop down, and I'll add it to you quick launch bar, and you'll always be able to see it.
Fud: (silence)
Me: Fuddy, are you bringing me that computer?
Fud: (silence)
Me: Are you going to mmake me climb those stairs?

Fud comes down, without his computer..so I show him on MY laptop, how to find the calculator

Fud: Go back and do that again
Me: Ok, now look, go to your start button, see them go to programs
Fud Do that again
Me Ok, go to our start button, then go to programs
Fud: OK
Me: thern you find this file, accessories
Fud: Go back and show me how you did that again
Me: Ok, go to your start button, then go to programs, then accessories, see? Theres your calculator.
Yay, then you right click on it, and add it to your quick launch bar, see, you can right click on anything, anywhere, it wont hurt, it just gives you a list of options, see?
Fud: silence  then, Go back, and show me that again


I am out of time, I'll come back and finish the daga of mud and fud later