off to the hospital again

well here I go, off for an infusion, again
seems like it was only last month....
hey, wait, it was only last month
this seems like an endless cycle
but off we go, hoping that this is the reason I have been feeling better, walking a bit more and all the good things that have occurred in the past year
wow
this is my second year of Tysabri, 3rd if you count the year that I was on it 4 years ago
maybe this is as good as it gets, with my particular form of MS
sigh
my new normal is better than it was, but it has taken a hell of a lot of physical therapy, and work on my part so, is it the meds, or is it me?
I guess that I will need to keep up with all of it, new diet, physical therapy, and Tysabri.
wish me luck, eh?
Sending love out to everyone today

blockage

in every sense
no creative drive
not to write, not to do glass work, not for much of anything
so I decided that I will sit down and write, try to do a bit every day, sort of like a living jourmal
we shall see what comes out of this
hey, bright side, I'll use my new neglected laptop
I don't have any of my images, or contacts transferred to this machine, and it may never happen, so what am I waiting for you may well ask.
Ask away, I don't  have any special answers, ok?
I did get into the studio today, and Helen foiled up a storm, so after she left, I soldered up a storm, and the face is about 1/2 finished, tomorrow will be a soldering kind of day.Don't expect much in the way of punctuation, grammar, or even ideas, at the moment I am just getting started back up, ok?

Working out the details

So, Mark is leaving Frog Valley, and me. I guess MS took that round, eh? Frog Valley is too much for me to handle on my own, but someone will come along, to help with all the work, and enjoy the benefits of being part of this little collection of art and artists.
I am not going anywhere,  so time will tell.
I hope everyone who loves Frog Valley, and me will continue to come around, wish Mark and I both well, enjoy the property, and enjoy the art work...
I am going through all my old posts, so if it sems disjointed, it isn' you, I am clearing the decks, getting prepared for the next phase of my journey. Love to everybody, peace and love. V

having a new roomie, but I think I know him from somewhere

Oh, yeah. He's been my partner for 24 years, and I thought I knew him.
Then he became the most dreaded of all beings
The wasband. That sounds so formal, lets call him the wubbie
You have probably met other wubbies before and each one is unique, let me tell you, but the story sounds familiar.
You know, going on 50, feeling trapped, looking for the easy way out, but there isn't one, ok? Somebody tell these pathetic jet lagged manopausal men that life doesn't just let you walk away, someone gets to pick up all your pieces
 and when you have MS it's hard to pick up anything
there is a funny side to this, but mostly it is pretty sad, to think you spent 20 some year with another person, and then to watch all your dreams and plans just melt away.
maybe this takes a while to get to the funny part, I am still at the somewhat bewildered part.
I'll work on it, get back to you 
It definitely takes some creative thinking, to get along with your wubbie, and he even talks to me about all his new friends and partners. That's ok, as long as I don't have to hear any more about the toxic chick from hell that is finally out of his life, and mine, and this time it's for good.
Where to even begin? Can I just write and publish everything I think? No, too brutal, even for me. I believe I need another blog, where I can write anonymously, that way I don't offend my fans sensibilities. Maybe you can catch me on the flip side, eh?
Maybe I can make a game of it, and folks can find me
drop me a note if you figure it out

Trying to blog, but why?

I feel like I should be writing, and I have amazingly vivid dreams, but when I start to write, everything dries up
I feel dried up
at 43
I can't even get to work in my studio my brain fog defeats me, as does the pain
I am feeling entirely cast adrift by everything I  thought I was heading towards
where do you go from here? unknown
thats a first
A true first for me, I have always felt as if I knew where I was headed,  but right now?
Lost is the only thing I feel, I operate on a daily basis, just getting through the day, the weekend, the next few hours
MS causes depression, as if it wasn't depressing enough just to be diagnosed, that is also part of the package of delightful side dishes, just letting you know
So I am going to use this as a daily (hopefully) exercise, and eventually things will start kicking, hope you are ready for the ride

Part two, or three, who know how many yet to come?

So, I left off when we got to Berkeley Springs right?  That's as good as any to begin the tale again. When we got here we built my pottery studio first, we lived in a tent while we built the pottery shop, and moved into the pottery shop while we continued to grow Frog Valley, I worked 2 million shifts a week, continued making pottery,  and began learning to do stained glass with a local artist, ragtime.
I didn't know where that would lead, but I am glad that I have ended up here, even with MS.
Right now I have just finished running a contest called "Mosaix for the Masses" and I just finished the silent auction site, to sell off the completed pieces to donate money to multiple causes.  I  want to raise money to help other people who are struggling with MS, and our second cause is for veterans, because I cannot believe how poorly they are treated when they return from overseas,  and how little is being said about this. I believe that everyone has the ability to create art, and with a bit of support, they can use their work to rehabilitate their lives, whether for the love of the work, or just getting into a group, and having interaction with others. But I am getting ahead of myself. There is much more before I got to the point of the mosaix for the masses contest. I worked in town and at home for many years until I was diagnosed, and for a few years after, until I couldn't anymore.
Then I just worked here. Let's see, I quite working at Tari's October 16, 1996.
Wow.
I have been a stay at home artist for almost 8 years.
What a blast, excepts that my customers seem to have forgotten that I am up here, and the market right now is brutal, and my hands aren't working right, but hey, MS gets to call most of the shots, at least I can still type (at least well enough for you to read)
I am planning on doing a bunch more writing, so hang in there with me, I have some stories you have not heard yet.
I think I will start this as a daily log/journal, and see where it goes from there.
Keep in mind that I jut got this new laptop.
Be patient.
Very patient.
Also keep in mind that I am also cleaning up my archive, and publishing anything old, just to get it out of my way.
Peace and love
Many more to come

Workingwithms or not?

I am tired. This MS crap is not working for me at all anymore. I am trying to ramp everything back up, as if I was the same person physically that I was in 2003, and guess what? I am not that person anymore, I can't do the same things pre-MS me could do
.Yes I can sort of get myself where I need to go, but I need help unloading or loading my mobility gear and anything I am trying to do, yknow? The shopping needs to go in the house, the mosaic project needs to go into the van, then get to the table where we are working for the day. Every time I try to plan a day, I forget,  oh, wait, you need help doing some of that.
MS Bites, that  is the bottom line of this post.
Do everything while you can
Live your life to it's biggest fullest full color event, and don't listen to any naysayers, ok?
This is just me cleaning out my old blogs that I never finished, and now I am back to learning about my new laptop.
what fun.
Not
Just by the way, MS is not working with me right now

I have a MS. I was diagnosed in 2003.
 Before I wandered on to that wondrous pass I was a waitress. I was  a bartender.
 I had been a bartender and a bouncer.

 I've been anything you can imagine in the food industry.
 I worked  for my dad first,  my glamorous career as a power server started when someone didn't show up at the restaurant where  my Father was the manager.
I washed dishes, lots of them.  Dishwasher to salad girl, salad girl to bus girl, then I cooked for a while at a Denny's of all places.
 Then I graduated and got the hell out of dodge
So when I finally got out of my hometown I moved to Pittsburgh Pennsylvania  and I went to art school
 I met Mark Schwenk  in an elevator, and we hit it off right way ,but that's another story
 My whole family is in the service industry my Moms a waitress and a hostess and could be a manager if she wanted to be( but all good servers don't want to be the  manager, they want to get  out on the floor and make money) my brother's  a chef , my other brother joined the army because they told him he could cook, and why oldest  is brother is a cater- waiter in California.(also an AMAZING artist)
 I  need to mention something real  quick here; rules are not my thing,  they never have been.
 Ask anyone. really. Start with my Mom.

 But I was born to wait tables: after I worked for my dad I started working tables in Pittsburgh. After a couple jobs ( mostly with people who did not have a clue) I landed a job at a strip joint downtown and their my career as a power server began I was a waitress and a bar back but I was also pretty much the bouncer: We .will get to all those great stories another day.
Suffice to say that it was interesting and it made me what I am today, at least in part .
When I was 20 I found a great old store front on the south side of town
it was condemned and it needed someone to love it
 we needed a place to live where we wouldn't pay outrageous rent and we did love the storefront
 it was a true labor of love we both worked on the house and I tended bar, again. I was a bartender 6 or 7 days a week, lots  of doubles, went to the house to work then back to the bar.
 The neighborhood was a bit rough, but that was never an issue for us.
 I had a place to live,a job I loved, a man I loved, and a big old store for us to live in
we were on  the south side of Pittsburgh, and it was a good place to live and learn 
Best of all I began to work with clay.
 Mark built my first wheel,  I took some classes and the artist inside of me took off .
We live in Pittsburgh for a few years but we wanted  land,  room the live, room to garden, to build a little house and to create beautiful things.
Then, right at the peak of my waiting table prime, I was diagnosed with ms.That was in 2003.
lots of stories to come, and a book, too, but lets just start here.

Veronica Wilson
Glass artist extraordinaire.
frogvalleyvee@gmail.com

a new idea, I want to help.....

So,
 I have this idea, and I am going to tell you all about it.
The end program will be called working with ms dot org right?
But getting there is the problem.....
see, there is this building in town, and it is for sale
the building is old and ugly, but in a great location, AND fully accessible, for absolutely anyone. it will be gorgeous after I renovate it, but there is lots of shit to be done before we get there.
That is the end of the good news, btw.
The building has just been reduced to $475,000. That's a bunch of money, for anybody, but a super big number for  me, ok? But it is the perfect building for my idea. Check it out, a fully accessible working glass shop, and pottery shop, (and someday blown glass too) with a helper on staff, to work with people who have autoimmune disorders, like MS, and also for veterans. Hey, I know, but it's my idea, and if you are gonna dream, you might as well dream big.
There would be a gallery there as well as housing for clients who came to be rehabilitated. There would be a room where I could stay, a functional kitchen, a room for therapy (massage and acupuncture) space for yoga
accessible bathrooms, (of course, who has to pee more than an MS sufferer?) a wet room, kilns, a small computer area, ooh, an accessible garden, solar panels on the roof, and maybe in the parking lot, too.
Sound good? Yeah, sounds good to me too...the problem is getting there.
There are grants to make this all happen, it's all there, believe me, but this is going to take a bunch of energy to make happen, and I believe that I am slightly scared of realizing this dream. I know that I can do it, I know the right people, I know the guy who owns the building, hell, it could be some other building downtown, there are plenty of them empty. I  have contacts who have the cash flow, and I believe that these individuals will back me up, the question is, do I want to do it?
Now, don't get me wrong, I am not afraid of working hard. I worked as a waitress and a bar bitch for 2 + decades, most of the time 7 days a week. Double shifts, too.
the thing is, I have settled into my handicapped world, and my space is fully accessible, at least for me, and my particular  handicaps, and do I really want to do this? I know that there are people who need help, and I have the resources to help them, but, do I want to spend my spoons? I am sure most of the MS folks out there know about the spoon theory ( written by Christine Miserandino) but anyone who doesn't, go find it, read it, and you will understand about the spoons.
Anyhow, do I want to  spend my spoons on other people? Well, sadly for my fun filled studio days, the answer is yes.
Yes I want to help other people with AI disorders.
Yes, I want to help veterans.
Yes, I think that art is a beautiful therapy for people who are not able to function as they had previously,   in their new bodies, so to speak.
Yes I also think there's a of resources for people that they don't even realize are out there and the I want to help these people no matter who they are I don't even like saying autoimmune disorders and veterans because it won't be limited to just that,  anyone who has any handicaps or   disorder I want to help, anyone who wants help to work in the studio or to try to find work doing something that is similar to what I can show you how to do in a studio, I will help
yes,
 And people who don't know about the resources that are available I want to help them too, that's what the little computer room is for,  a lot of people don't get Interne or 
 they don't understand how to use it efficiently, I want to help all those people.
so, what do you think? I really want responses here, I want to hear from anyone who has an opinion or anyone who has no idea I want to hear it I want to make this happen for me but I want to make it happen for us and for my town small town it's a fantastic town with a huge art community but ever since the economy took a dive its been slow here, it's starting to pick back up but it's pretty slow. This is a healing town and I want to help people heal at least psychologically, so that their bodies can adjust to their new normal ( stole that one from the wheelchair kamikaze thanks Marc)

can you imagine?

         The impetus for my re-upping my tired old blog and my tired old laptop is my very best goddess girlfriend wondrous telepathic friend does not say enough, I would go  to any zealots  imagined pit of hell to fight at her side, and woe to the man who wrongs my girl. Just as an explanation BFF does not even begin to cover it.
We are going to have aa little girlfriend game, an d she is going to text something about her past, anoymously of course no exes will be incriminated here, and I am going to blog about it, daily if possible...in a most
 interesting and unique way: I am going to blog about it. Here's how this it gonna worrk, ok?

My girl is gonna send me a text, or an email, with a small  paragraph or  line: this is what happened the night  that i first met F.H. (I'll tell you about the initials later)and then I will recreate the story, using a few pertinent facts, and after I am sure what will be many long and laugh filled conversations,  I will publish a blog about it you are going to see a wholes bunch of blog action going on, because I finally figured out where my drafts are, and I am cleaning them up and publishing ALL of them at the same time.
Be afraid, be very afraid

Oh yeah? Well, f@#$ you, MS

Well, I get an absolutely fantastic day once in a while, and yesterday was one of them. I am def achy and totally wiped out today, but I'll take it easier on myself, I promise.
woke up early (always a good start)
checked on my email, etc
took my pills and vitamins( sigh, but they help with certain issues)
went to the office to enter weekend sales ( a bit light, but the season is only just beginniing)
sorted mail pile (how does it get so enormous?)
put all items requiring calls to one side ( still an hour and a half til 9 am)
back upstairs (zoom zoom says the little powerchair that could)
check email, check fb page, misc computer tasks,
back down to the office to deal with phone calls
unload and reload kiln
take pics of current stained glass project to email to client
back upstairs (zoom zoom)
download images, edit images, resize images, email images to client
make lunch eat lunch, take nap 12-1
get up and fold 3 baskets of laundry, then crawl around the bedroom to put it all away
hey, while I'm on the floor, do some yoga.   then   I go back to my studio to spend a few hours working until it gets to be 6 or 7, then off to the kitchen and we normally cook together with me doing the grunt works as well as I can, and Mark doing the actual cooking, because the stove is definitely definitely NOT HC accessible,  and I was never fond of burns. We may listen to a cool comedian,  or
watch some tube. we might discuss business plans, do computer work, or go our separate ways while we work on different projects until it is absolutely time for bed, then I might fall asleep watching television. S o, fuck you MS, I did more today than a lot of people who are considered "normal"do in 2 days.


.

this mornings test of this fucking laptop

 Mark:this is a test of the veronica broadcast system...i cannot find a fault in the keyboard...
Veronica: when veronica types she has to look at her fingers like a moron, but if she doesn't watch the screen the cursor jumps to  different places...
Ok, for anyone who is interessted in the saga of veronica and her old fucking laptop:
here's the story
My laptop is like a bajillion years old, it was top of the line when mark got it. (everything is top of the line when Mark gets it) Then 8 or 9 years later he needed a new laptop. So I inherited his old one. Works for me, all it needs to do is stream video and type coherently.
I am left handed, and I have MS. (mostly sucky) and when I type, I look at my hands, I never learned to touch type. The problem begins when I am typing one of my longer missives, if I don't watch the screen, my cursor will jump to a new location, and begin typing from the middle of another word. If I don't look up when I am in the middle f a rant, I could have this mixed jumble of letters like the one I posted a few daw ago, that appeared to be written by a gang of illiterate meth addicted primates, seriously.
So, we sat down this a.m. to look over the computer so that Mark could see what the problem was.
The first line of the blog is where Mark was typing stuff.
The second line is where I was typing, but it did not do what it usually does.
This is not surprising. Items that are not supposed to be sentient are in Mark's presence. I can try to starts a car with my key, to no avail. When a friend comes by to help me they also cannot start the car, so they deliver me to my doorstep, usually with errands, laundry, grocery in the back, unloaded from my defunct vehicle, and into theirs. When Mark arrives with a smug look on his face, the car starts.
Instantly.
Like there was no problem.
As if I hadn't tried to start it at least 5 times.
And so had said rescuer.
But when Mark comes along, the car starts instantly, as does anything that is not working in his absence.
But, I digress.
I have recently  gotten a samsung tablet. So has Mark (surprise surprise, take ME shopping for new technology, but everybody gets the new technology) But, no, really, I would not know all the things it could do if he had not gotten a like machine, I most;y use it as a kindle, I play scrabble games on it, I go check out facebook, listen to NPR, I do email om it, I blog, and oh cool, we can use it to stream movies wirelessly onto our flat screen.
I know it oes a thousand more things, but that' s enough for me.
I'm going to swtch to it now, as a matter of fact.
Bye.

What's up with the handicapped accessible bathroom stall?

So the reason I am writing again..well, that is because this shit drives me CRAZY!!
(And, btw, it's all true, yes, I really have experienced these issues in person.)
I know I haven't posted in a while, (like, almost a year) but I am trying to get back into it, so feel free to shoot me ideas, and I'll do my best. For this (and possibly future posts) I will be creating my own abbreviations, because typing handicapped accessible bathroom/stall is going to get old real fast, so if you see HCAB you know what I am talking about, others may follow, and I'll fill you in as I go.
I was recently at an outdoor market in Baltimore Md.  It was a nice market, but as anyone who has MS knows, you always need to know where the closest bathroom is, because you ALWAYS have to pee, and you don't always have control over where/when your bladder is going to decide that it has waited long enough. So, as we get to the market, I need to take a leak, and I see the port-a-johns, and we head that way.
So, of course there are lines, but wait, whats this? A HCAB port-a-john, and it has no line!! My lucky day. Oh bless you angel who supplies bathrooms up need
So I head that way on my scooter..but, what's this? It is LOCKED, with a note on the front that asks all HC ppl to head into the market, find the welcome desk, and get the combination for the lock.
Are they serious? Do they have NO fucking clue?
And let me back up to mention that if anyone was in need of this facility and could not stand up and shuffle to the door, they would not have been able to access this stall, because the unit was set up facing the others instead of the street, and only about 12 inches away from them, so, if you couldn't do the aforementioned gimpy shuffle, you were screwed, even if the unit had not been  locked.
So, I see one of  the other p-o-j"s has no line, and I scoot over there to perform the gimp shuffle, and finally get to relieve my bladder, with minimal leakage (thank you goddess of all weak bladders) and carry on with our foray into the market. On the way in, I do see the welcome desk/tent, and I go over and find out the combination for future reference (I know I will need to pee again before we leave the area) and we go check out the market, get some beautiful bread, and decide to have some lunch. We had places to go and things to do, so, on the way out, I go back to the p-o-j area, go up to the HCAB, and try the combination,...it doesn't work. Well, isn't that nifty? My friend zipped back into the "welcome" tent, to find out if we had misremembered the combination, only to be told that no, we had it right, but you really had to jerk down hard on the lock. Oh, really? Because there aren't any HC ppl who have problems with their hands or dexterity or strength? So, we got the stall open, but meanwhile I am fuming, and if I had taken the lock into the p-o-j with me, I most likely would have thrown it into the  proper receptacle (on second thought  it might break the honey dippers pump out truck, and it wasn't HIS fault that the john was locked)  but Helen had it, so instead when I went out  I got it from her,  and I locked it through the latch in such a way that it was locked open, and announced to all the ppl waiting in line that the potty was open and available to all. What I should have done was go back to the "welcome" tent and explain to them in detail how this was not an acceptable way to offer the facility, in detail, and graphically, as only my previous readers and friends know that I could.I didn't have time that day to reeducate anyone, so I scotted to the car, and we went on our way.
Maybe having to drag themselves out to the poj area to retrieve the lock was enough of a message? No, not really. Me standing there in  piss wet jeans, screaming obscenities would have been more of a lasting impression.
Next up..public bathrooms.
What exactly, is the appeal of the HC stall for able bodied women? Oh, I know it is bigger. Do you realize that the reason for this is to accommodate  my scooter? Or my walker? Do you realize that there are hand rails to help ME and others like me to transfer from our personal mode of transportation to the commode? Did you think it was bigger so that you could change? (Yes, I see that a one a lot) So that you wouldn't feel claustrophobic? (that one I heard twice, as ladies came out, saw me waiting, or trying to get in the regular stall, and felt compelled to explain to me why they were in the HC stall ) Did you really need your own personal sink and mirror to do your make-up? ( some very very nice HC stall have this feature- and thank you designers of those bathrooms)
I'll tell you what, you can have the fucking MS, and you can have the HC stall, too, ok? Fair deal?

I have one, really

So I did write a post tonight, but I can't publish it, for some reason, so you will have to wait until morning,  when I can get help from Mark. Grrrr. Technology,  you know
I love it.

2 lost pots... isn't technology wonderful?

so ayway, I started writing twice. this laptop shut down and when it  came back Firefox  clos ed itself  so this will be a brief post as I am currently being menaced by a stink bug, and hve been cursed  ny the mystery key board malady w here my cursor keeps jumping  to new places in the text and picking up in the middle of the previous one' errrgh, you probably dont u nderstand, bur ignore all weird typing mistakes i ant keep going back to correct shit i would be here all night, aand I am starting to fade.
new blog game
my best friend,  and tha does not even begin to describe our. relationship, she is my true other half. If th
e world exploded, as long As  i HAd my girl, everything would be okay,  we'd , take on the devil,  cheek to cheek into  hell, no fears.
but I digress: new blog game about to commence here is how it will work
my girl will send me a title, or a thrmr every day
including a few pertinent facts, but not the name, we'll refer to all exes as F D H
(we'll explain the initials and reason for using those particular letters later)
she will give me a few pertinent facts, and I may ask a few questions
Then I will make up a story, and publih it as my blog of the day a blf ast telling stor
we are going to have a blast telling stories about  our lives 
we'll fill you in on any details
if yous  don't like it, well, we don't care
this is for me and her  it is for fun for us to learn about each others lives. you don"t like it? too bad, do't let the door hit ya in the ass pal, tomorrows subject " can you believe it? a snap shot of a conversation between C  and W...wait for it

Working with Technology (I'm the computer tech?)

So, I have a friend, we'll call him "r", he is  a really good friend, and I "help" him with his technology issues.He always helps me with anything I need, so I figure I can work this out. (with lots of help from my hubby)  Believe me, if there was someone else lining up for the job, they'd be welcome to it, cuz basically, I don't know fuck all about computers.
But, I figured out how to build a website (www.100pointsofpeace.com) (with much help from my hubby) and I worked out a system for cataloging the photographs of the points of peace, and I do my best to maintain the site, and all is good. It's nothing flashy, but we have it, he's got email, and all is well in the world as we know it.......
Except, there was a problem with our internet provider. (keep in mind, that at home, this would all be my hubby's domain) We weren't happy with the service that was (or was not) being provided, so..r decided that they could take a flying leap, and he told them so (and in a much nicer way than I would have after spending for 3 fucking hours on the phone with them).
Not so large a problem, you are thinking. Well, you must not live in the middle of the eastern panhandle of West Virginia, I'm thinking, because it IS a problem, to get internet in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.
Let me tell you about it.
I called Frontier, and they told me that the cable was not run in our area. I called Direct TV (who r already has television with) and they could not help us either. I tried Skynet, and Skyweb, no, not really, and then HURRAY!!  Skyblue said yes, bet when the technician came out, he said, no, not really. sorry. I tried Verizon, same story as Frontier.
I tried a bunch of different places, but it wasn't looking good, and we really really really did not want to go back to our original provider. Anyway, r got a flyer in the mail, for Dish and bundled packages for internet service. Oh boy!! 
(We won't even go into the whole saga of cancelling Direct TV and getting screwed for $400. I'm still working on that one.)
So, we signed up with dish. They bundled us with Lumos, or some fucking place there are so many fucking sky names going on, and we set up a time, and lo and behold, it's the same guy who came out before, and he says, no, not really, sorry.
I'm getting pretty fed up here,  but for some reason, probably at r's urgung, i called Frontier back, and, hey, now they DO have the cable run into our area...so I sign up.
But there had been a big storm
and all their people were busy
for at least 2 more weeks
but I don't have a lot of fucking options here, so I sign up, and take a number
Sigh. So, I take r's brand new computer home (oh, by the way, hubby pricked that out, too), and run (with lots of help from my hubby) all the updates, and prepare it to go back to him, when he gets internet.
So the guy shows up....
and he looks at all the antique phone wiring in the house...
and he can't do it,  YET, but he will come back, after r's vacation, and run all the new wires, and we will be good to go
YAY
But in the meantime, our friend S shows up, and she has an Iphone. And she is getting online, and showing r stuff, and he has this puzzled look on his face, but finally he comes out with it
"why can SHE get internet, and I can't?"
She has a 3G thing
"why can't I get that?"
It's not the same
"why?"
I don't know
"well, you know everything else"
no I don't
"well, then ask your hubby"
So I do, I get on the phone, and call Mark, and ask him why S can get 3G, and r can't.
He explains it to my satisfaction, and in a way that I can explain it to r, and I thank him, and get off the phone
I turn to r, and he says,
"well  J comes over, opens her computer, and shows me stuff all the time"
well,  either she is showing you stuff that is on HER computer, or she must have magic internet, cuz you don't have a wireless network  (even when you still had internet)
"well, maybe we should call her, and see what she has"
so I do
but first I get her old man and he doesn't know what kind of service J has
and he gives me her cell number
and then I get J, and I say
"hey, r here tells me that you can walk into his studio and open your laptop, and get online, and show him stuff"
"no I don't"
"wait wait, say that again" as I am holding it out to where r can here it "can you get online over here?"
"no"
(r speaking) "but she shows me all kinds of stuff on the compter"
(J speaking) "it's stuff that's ON my computer, not on the internet"
(me speaking) ok, J, that's what I thought.
as you can maybe gather, this discussion was getting a bit heated, because r is apparently under the impression that there is some great secret (probably female, as well) conspiracy to keep him off line.
But, we all calm back down { with me getting a few jabs in along the way, about the secret internet that only certain (probably female) people get to access, haha }and we hang out for a little while, and then r is taking me home, and since it's just the two of us, I am ribbing him  pretty hard, and also inquiring as to why I, of all people would make my life more difficult, by being part of some secret wireless internet conspiracy? and the discussion gets into how much he DOESN'T know about computers, even compared to me, and he says "HEY, I took a computer class once"
oh, yeah, when as that?
"1964"
and that's all I need to write, I think

No names will be shared, so don't get too worked up, ok?

Allright, I am over at my bud's place, and while we were hanging out another friend came over, too. While he. was somewhere else, we get into a discussion, and somehow this turns to talk about oral sex (and no, guys, that is not all we talk about when you are not around, no matter what your fantasies involve)
 So anyway...she say's

"Well, I don't like blowing my husband,  you know..oral,  it's just  not my thing.
And anyway  I always have to jump up and brush my teeth afterwards...you know, I think he get's offended"

And I'm thinking,
"What? Why? He still got blown, right?" but I don't delve into this subject, this is not a discussion  that I am willing to have at this particular time and place, because of the other people that are present, so we keep on talking, about general girl stuff...but this statement stays with me.

Hmmm...
So, I am having dinner with a few friends, some of them more proper than this discussion will allow, so when the crowd thins out to just me and one other couple, who I know I can have an interesting  (and amusing) discussion with.
So I turn the folks, and I say

"Ok, question for a guy, here."

and I lay out the background, and tell them the story of how my girlfriend says she has to brush her teeth after a blowjob, and I ask the male in the couple

"So, what do you say. would you be offended? Is this offensive? I mean, as a guy...you still got blown, right?"

and my guy friend says, and this is a direct quote from a male

 " I knew that this was what women talked about when  guys weren't around....
 but, hey, I'll buy her a fucking case of toothbrush, she can consider them disposable"

and we all fucking fell out, and much wine was consumed, and we continued to talk about a myriad of things.
But this discussion only continued to fester in my brain. So I lay this on one of my other girlfriends, both conversations, and after many giggles, she says

"well, you know, I hate it when you can feel those little spermatozoa crawling  under my gums, personally"

And we fell out laughing, and I can only say, girlfriend, if you are reading this, keep on brushing, if you are so inclined. And don't be mad, i didn't use your name, either here, or in the discussion among other friends.

my babies!!!

The babies are getting SOOOO big, so fast. I am posting a quick note, to show them  @ 5 days.
Later I'll come back and tell everyone about the whole luna moth story.

So many ideas, so little time.. Mark has food regulations

Well, I have been gone for a while. I must have written down at least 15 different ideas for different posts, since I  last wrote out all my dirty little secrets to share with you.
First, I think  that I have decided the "format" for this blog is going to be  'Working with..(whatever)"as in
"Working within Mark's dietary restrictions or regulations, or requirements" or
"working with (whatever idea pops into my head at any given moment)
Since we are on the subject, my dear sweet hubby has A LOT of weird ideas about food, how it should be served, what's right, and definitely what is NOT right. Like:
Did you know that you cannot eat hotdogs unless they are in the proper size regulation hotdog bun?? Ok, wait, I think you can have them with beanies, too, as in beanie weanies,  but then you don't use bread, you cut them up (to the correct  size, of course, which is 3/8 of an inch, btw) But for God's sake, you can't eat them on bread, sliced in half, and you certainly cannot have a hotdog on a bagel, after you cut little slits in the side, so it curls up when you cook it, cuz that's just weird, ok?
There is also a required "order" to put together a sandwich, and if you don't do it in the correct order, (bottom to top, bread, meat,cheese, lettuce, tomato and onion, mayo on top half of bun, then salt and pepper) it doesn't taste right. Really? ok, and, if you are having your sandwich on bread, it needs to be cut diagonally, not straight across, and there are certain things you toast the bread for,... but Jesus Christ on cross, not turkey!!   I believe that ham salad is something I made up, and what the fuck is that? Did I put raisins in my chicken salad? ew, that's just gross, plain and simple (He finally came around to the fact that if I am making the tuna salad, it WILL have hard boiled eggs in it.)
Let's see, scrambled eggs? Scrambled in the skillet, with buttered toast on the side. sunny side up? ON the toast, but NO, don't butter the toast..I haven't even asked about poached, cuz I like mine on big thick cubes of toasted buttered french bread, and I'm not interested in the correct way to serve them. Oh, and the correct amount for A serving of bacon? That'd be the whole pound, minus the 2 pieces that  I eat. Scrapple is the same way, but it had better be RAPA, not some other alien form of cut up pig parts with gristle. And it must be cut into proper, even 1/4 inch thick pieces, ok?
Milk is milk, ok? Almond milk, soy milk, rice mile, you name it, unacceptable.  Milk comes from cows, and Mark drinks moo cow fuck milk (lactose reduced, and low-fat,but REAL milk, nonetheless, and that's it. Mark say's his mom's not here, so no one can make him try it. ( we won't even go into the fact that Mark's Mon couldn't cook her way out of a paper bag, and ANYTHING she cooked had to be singed to within an inch of it's existence, and the only time I  ever saw a beautiful turkey come out of her oven, she stripped all of the skin off of it (while I wasn't looking) and threw that in the TRASH, for "health" reasons.(but never mind the health factor in ho-hos, twinkies, pringles, oreos, or any of the single serving junk she kept around to feed her grandchildren) And wile we are on the subject of turkey, I LOVE leftover  turkey  and gravy, over waffles, a well worn tradition in my home growing up ( and seriously, don't knock it until you have tried it) My Mom once introduced all of her Chicago friends to this culinary delight, and they all said "yuck" at first, but 2 hours later, she was still making waffles to go under the turkey and gravy. I only get this treat now when Mark is somewhere else, and Mud and Fud come over to help out with things.  We then plan a waffle/turkey gravy orgy, and eat it until I explode. But, in mark's world, waffles get butter and syrup, and that is it, over and out. He will always compliment my mom on her potato salad, but anything else may or may not be actual FOOD, not some  peculiar Pennsylvania Dutch monstrosity that I am trying to convince him is delicious.
This is only the beginning in a long list, and I haven't even gotten to the allergies, and sensitivities to certain food items (and some of them are only once in a while, like honey..hmmmmm)
Good thing he likes to cook.
Talk to you soon

I love my parents, that is why their names will be changed to protect the innocent

So, I really and truly do love my parents, but I gotta tell everyone about last weekend.
Mark was away for a trip overnight, and he didn't want to leave me alone.
So, I asked Mud and Fud to come down. Mud makes good food, remember.

it only took about the usual 5 min for the Mud and Fud routine to begin.
Fud: (load groan of pain, heard from a distance)
Mud: Fud, ARE YOU OKAY??
Fud: (silence)
Mud: Fudhead, ARE YOU OKAY?
Fud: YEAH, I'm alright
Mud : What was that noise?
Fud: ((sigh)
Mud: Fudhead, WHAT was that noise?
Fud: just my legs hurting
Mud ok, sit down
Fud (silence)
Mud: Are you sitting?
Fud: No, not yet
Mud: FUDHEAD, Go sit down, and you'll feel better
Fud (silence)
Mud ARE YOU sitting down yert?
Fud (silence)
Mud: Go sit down, and take some deep cleansing yoga breaths

Then she turns to me, and starts to explain how he is always doing this, and if he would only go sit down and breath deep cleansing breaths, or go do legs up a wall, he would feel infinitely better.
I won't copy and repeat the above conversation, but it happenned at least 5000 times in a 24 hour period.  Instead, I'll tell you about Fud and computers.

I was downstairs, in the kitchen, and Fud said "I don't thjink I am online"
I said, Are you on facebook?
Fud (pause) yeah
Me: then you HAVE to be online
Fud: (silence)
Fud: oh, ok, but I never put in a password
Me: That's because Mark did it for you last time, and your computer remembers things like that
Fud: I still dont think I am online
Me: ARE you ON Facebook?
Fud: (pause)  uh, yeahMe: Then you HAVE to be online, whether it is our network, or some neighbor who has an unprotected network.

Fud But I didn't put in a password
Me sigh, then maybe you r on a neuighbors network, but prolly, your computer remebers our password, bring your computern down here, and I can tell you which
Fud (silence)
me: Fud aree you bringing the computer dwon here
Fud (pause) No, it's ok
me: Ok
Fud: But I dont think I am online.
me:(sigh ) you are, if you werent, you couldn't be on facebook, really,
Fud: ok

you get the idea, but these conversations seemed to take place quite often, esp the one about the deep cleansing yoga breaths, and how he would feel better, if only...

Then, Fud wanted to know why he didn't have a calculator on his computer.
Me: You do, everyone has one. Bring your laptop here, I'll show you
Fud:: (silence)
Me: Do you see it? Bring your laptop down, and I'll add it to you quick launch bar, and you'll always be able to see it.
Fud: (silence)
Me: Fuddy, are you bringing me that computer?
Fud: (silence)
Me: Are you going to mmake me climb those stairs?

Fud comes down, without his computer..so I show him on MY laptop, how to find the calculator

Fud: Go back and do that again
Me: Ok, now look, go to your start button, see them go to programs
Fud Do that again
Me Ok, go to our start button, then go to programs
Fud: OK
Me: thern you find this file, accessories
Fud: Go back and show me how you did that again
Me: Ok, go to your start button, then go to programs, then accessories, see? Theres your calculator.
Yay, then you right click on it, and add it to your quick launch bar, see, you can right click on anything, anywhere, it wont hurt, it just gives you a list of options, see?
Fud: silence  then, Go back, and show me that again


I am out of time, I'll come back and finish the daga of mud and fud later